How to Lose Gracefully
Losing is a necessary part of life. Nobody likes to lose, yet in every even remotely competitive situation, someone will. Perhaps it’s the next promotion at work, or the selection of a student union leader. Even small things, like playing a card game, have an air of winning and losing to them. However, it’s what you do with that failure that makes all the difference. Assuming one is the "loser," all of these situations present a choice. One can either be a sore loser or a graceful loser.
Losing gracefully is the first step to move forward and overcome the loss. In fact, graceful losers are hardly impacted by the loss at all, because they know another opportunity awaits them. They congratulate their opponent, embrace their failure and try to figure out where they went wrong. Graceful losers do not take failure personally, but they do accept responsibility. They learn from the loss, and then apply what they’ve learned so that next time they may win.
Sore losers are quite the opposite. Perhaps the biggest risk of being a sore loser is this loss of hope for the future. Sore losers are stuck on the loss, and in so being, they may miss out on a new opportunity because of their poor attitude. Sore losers get angry. They blame their loss on the opponent, not taking responsibility for their own actions. Sore losers hold on to resentment, and may internalize their failure, leading to low self-esteem or even depression.
Of course, making lemonade out of life’s lemons is not always easy. In fact, it can be downright hard. But it is a principle worth living by. How can you lose gracefully, even when you really, really wanted to win? Essentially, you need to realize that you never really lose.
In fact, once you learn how to release the feelings about losing—the anger, the embarrassment, and the resentment—you will always feel successful. And then an amazing thing will happen. When you FEEL successful, you will ACT successful, and then, sure enough, you will BE successful. As you let go of the feelings that cause the sensation of loss, you discover that you never really lose anything.
The objects in your life are always changing, but what you are at your core is changeless. The more you release on the fears and negativity about winning and losing, the easier it will be to accept things that do happen. When you lose or win, you’ll then be able to do so gracefully.
By releasing your negative feelings, you allow the comings and goings of your life to simply happen as they do. This gives great relief and also allows you to be present with and for the new opportunities that are here every moment.
Everyone has failed at some point in his or her life. This is nothing exceptional. Even in adverse situations, one should keep in mind the principle of losing gracefully. A graceful loser will turn into a potential winner while a sore loser a bigger failure.
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