How seriously should parent take kid’s opinions when searching for a home?
In choosing a new home, Camille McClain’s kids have a single demand: a backyard.
That seemingly reasonable request turned the Chicago family’s home hunt upside down, as there weren’t many three-bedroom apartments on the North Side — where the family was looking — that came with yard space. Still, McClain and her husband chose to honor their 4- and 6-year-old’s request.
“We worked with a few apartment brokers, and it was strange that many of them didn’t even know if there was outdoor space, so they’d bring us to an apartment. We’d see that it didn’t have a yard, and we’d move on,” said McClain, who runs Merry Music Makers in Lakeview, a business focused on music education for children.
McClain’s little ones aren’t the only kids who have an opinion when it comes to housing, and in many cases youngsters’ views weigh heavily on parents’ real estate decisions, according to a 2018 Harris Poll survey of more than 2,000 U.S. adults.
Renters paid attention to their kids’ preferences even more: 83 percent said their children’s opinions will be a factor when they buy a home.
The idea of involving children in a big decision is a great idea because it can help them feel a sense of control and ownership in what can be an overwhelming process, said Ryan Hooper, clinical psychologist in Chicago.
“Children may face serious difficulties in coping with significant moves, especially if it removes them from their current school or support system,” he said.
Younger children should feel like they’re choosing their home — without actually getting a choice in the matter, said Adam Bailey, real estate attorney based in New York and author of the upcoming children’s book Home, about the search for the perfect home from the viewpoint of a child.
Asking them questions about what they like about the backyard of a potential home—or asking them where their toys would go in the house — will make them feel like they’re being included in the decision-making process, Bailey said.
Many of the aspects of home buying aren’t a consideration for children, said Tracey Hampson, a real estate agent based in Santa Clarita, Calif. And placing too much emphasis on their opinions can ruin a fantastic home purchase.
She has a client who has been house-hunting for a while, and he always asks his young children their opinion. But when this buyer finally decided to write an offer on a home with a pool, his children burst into tears because they didn’t want a pool.
“They ended up not submitting an offer,” Hampson said. “So speaking with your children before you make a real estate decision is wise, but I wouldn’t base the purchasing decision solely on their opinions.”
The other issue is that many children — especially older ones — may base their real estate knowledge on HGTV shows, which tend to focus on superficial aspects of real estate, said Aaron Norris of The Norris Group in Riverside, Calif.
“They love Chip and Joanna Gaines just as much as the rest of us,” he said. “HGTV has seriously changed how people view real estate. It’s not shelter, it’s a lifestyle. With that mindset change comes some serious money consequences.”
Kids tend to get stuck in the features and the immediate benefits to them personally, Norris said. And while their opinions on those elements shouldn’t reign supreme, the homebuying process could be a time to start talking to kids about money, budgeting, homeownership and other financial decisions.
Parents also need to remind their children that their needs and desires may change over time, said Julie Gurner, a real estate analyst with FitSmallBusiness.com.
“Their opinions can change tomorrow，”Gurner said. “Harsh as it may be to say, that decision should likely not be made contingent on a child’s opinions, but rather made for them with great consideration into what home can meet their needs best — and give them an opportunity to customize it a bit and make it their own.”
This advice is more relevant now than ever before, even as more parents want to embrace the ideas of their children, despite the current housing crunch.
Today, wanna-be home buyers have to be more open when it comes to must-haves andwhat you can compromise on, Hampson said.
And speaking of compromise: The McClain kids, hungry for outdoor space, fell in love with a home in the North Park neighborhood that had a large yard. But it wasn’t ideal by their parents’ standards.
The family ended up renting a house in North Center that had a smaller yard, but it was still big enough for playtime.
“I had to do a bit of a sales job with the kids since they loved the yard in North Park,” McClain said. “But there’s a hammock they lounge on, a spot to jump rope, a place to play in the sprinkler, and an area to write with sidewalk chalk.”
1.Ryan Hoopper （ ）
2.Adam Bailey （ ）
3.Tracey Hampson （ ）
4.Aaron Norris （ ）
5.Julie Gurner （ ）
