If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
If you say to your children "I'm sorry I got angry with you, but ..." what follows that "but" can render the apology ineffective: "I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache " leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should- be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say "I'm sorry you're upset"; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
Then there is the general, all covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that was particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying "I'm useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
These pseudo-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness. Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not resort to these pseudo-apologies.
But even when presented with examples of genuine contrition, children still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children, feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children's expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-olcl might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent's clothes without permission is not.
1. If a mother adds "but" to an apology,（ ）.
2. According to the author, saying "I'm sorry you're upset" most probably means（ ）.
3. It is not advisable to use the general, all-covering apology because（ ）.
4. We learn from the last paragraph that in teaching children to say sorry（ ）.
5. It can be inferred from the passage that apologizing properly is（ ）.
问题1选项
A.she doesn't feel that she should have apologized
B.she does not realize that the child has been hurt
C.the child may find the apology easier to accept
D.the child may feel that, he owes her an apology
问题2选项
A.You have good reason to get upset
B.I'm aware you're upset, but I'm not to blame
C.I apologize for hurting your feelings
D.I’m at fault for making you upset
问题3选项
A.it gets one into the habit of making empty promises
B.it may make the other person feel guilty
C.it is vague and ineffective
D.it is hurtful and insulting
问题4选项
A.the complexities involved should be ignored
B.their ages should be taken into account
C.parents need to set them a good example
D.parents should be patient and tolerant
问题5选项
A.a social issue calling for immediate attention
B.not necessary among family members
C.a sign of social progress
D.not as simple as it seems
第1题:D
第2题:B
第3题:C
第4题:B
第5题:D
1.判断推理题。根据题干定位到第二段"If you say to your children "I'm sorry I got angry with you, but ..." what follows that "but" can render the apology ineffective: "I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache " leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should- be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology."可知如果在道歉后加了"but"，那么会使那个受伤的人感觉为了得到别人的道歉，他得先为自己不好的行为道歉。与D项“这个孩子可能会觉得他欠他妈妈一个道歉”相符。故D项正确。
2.判断推理题。根据题干定位到第三段"I'm sorry you're upset"; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done."如果这样道歉——“我很抱歉你生气了”;这表明你在某种程度上是错误的，因为你让自己被别人的所作所为弄得心烦意乱。”由此可知道歉人其实并没有真正地道歉，而是认为别人是由于自己的原因而心情不好。与B项相符。
3.判断推理题。根据题干定位到第四段"Saying "I'm useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement." 如果家长道歉说“我是个没用的家长”并不能让一个人得到任何具体的改善。可知用这种道歉方法是无效的。故C项正确。
4.判断推理题。But even when presented with examples of genuine contrition, children still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children, feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children's expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-olcl might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent's clothes without permission is not. 但是，即使孩子们看到了真诚悔过的例子，他们仍然需要帮助来使其意识到道歉的复杂性。一个三岁的孩子可能需要帮助来理解其他孩子也像他一样感到疼痛，用沉重的玩具打玩伴的头需要道歉。一个六岁的孩子可能需要被提醒，辜负其他孩子的期望可能需要道歉。一个12岁的孩子可能需要被告知，未经许可就乱翻饼干罐是可以接受的，但未经许可就借父母的衣服就不行。最后一段举例讲述了不同年龄段的孩子都需要不同程度的提醒或告诫来使其意识到道歉的复杂性。故B项“在教小孩子道歉时应考虑他们的年龄。”正确。
5.判断推理题。全文介绍了几种伪道歉，最后总结这几种道歉方式是无效的，并且提醒读者教小孩道歉要考虑到他们的年龄。由此可见恰当的道歉并没有看起来那么简单。A项“合理道歉是需要立即关注的社会问题”文中未提及；B项“合理道歉在家庭成员中不必要”与文中提到的“A 12-year-olcl might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent's clothes without permission is not.”不符；C项“合理道歉是社会进步的标志”与文中内容无关。故答案D
